The war inside
by Anguis Amor
Summary: One shot. Just because we've won the war, doesn't mean the war is over.


_**Just because we've won the war, doesn't mean the war is over.**_

The battle was over. It was really over. Hermione let out the breath she was so desperately keeping. It was over. She repeated over and over in her head. Whenever she closed her eyes, she'd see those green and red flashes. She saw how Voldermort fell over. Dead.

She shook her head and tilted her head up. "Hermione Granger," she started, looking at herself in the mirror. "It is over. Stop thinking about it." Another sigh she let out. What use was talking to herself, right now? She obviously couldn't think straight.

She slowly undressed. Slowly, because every bone in her body ached. Her body had been enduring a lot. She really needed a hot bath right now. To let go and to relax, for the first time in how long, she wondered. She hadn't been in a bath for months now. She missed the warm water and the feeling of cleanliness after a bath. Being on the run, she and her two friends always used scourgify. But that spell just wasn't the same as a bath or a shower. Deep inside, Hermione would always be a muggle at heart. It were always the little things.

Stepping inside, she figured it was too hot. With all the magic in the world, Hogwarts still didn't have a magical thermostat. She shook her head. Wit hall the magic in the world, the world was still a cruel place. She remembered when she got her first Hogwarts letter. She remembered how happy she was and how lucky. She was part of something magical. Magic, she'd thought, was part of fairytales, but no, she really was a witch herself. Due to that letter, she got to know the magical world. She got to know Harry and Ron. She thought fondly of Luna and Ginny. And Neville, he had changed so much over the years. Time had been good to him, she thought. Neville was the one, destroying the last Horcrux. He slashed the snake dead. Who would have thought? Neville, the Snake killer. She laughed. It was for the first time in ages that she laughed. She genuinely laughed. And she felt how her body shook and relaxed with every laugh she made. They were free. Finally they could start their lives. Finally, she could start planning her life. She honestly didn't think she would be still alive. She really thought she would have died in the hunt, in the battle, or… in the manor.

She closed her eyes, wrapping her arms around herself. The water was still hot, but it felt as if the temperature has dropped. It felt as if ice was forming around her. She peeked at her arm.

Mudblood.

That awful word was carved in her arm. As if it was part of her. Hermione took a sponge and she began to rub. She began to rub it till it was gone. She rubbed and rubbed. She saw how her arm began to colour red. She rubbed and rubbed. She saw how that dirty word was still there. She rubbed and rubbed. The skin of her arm was destroyed and it began to bleed. She rubbed and rubbed. The water began to colour red, too.

But that word, that dirty, dirty word, was still there. It was engraved in her arm. It was a remembrance of how much worth her life was to them. She slowly snaked her hand to her neck. She still feels the blade of that crazy woman, cooling her skin. And the fear that she had. She was going to die. She was going to die. She thought. She felt how the knife was slicing piece by piece by piece. Every letter of that word, Mudblood, Bellatrix carved it in. She smiled wickedly and told Hermione she was nothing but a Mudblood. A Mudblood.

She heard Bella's haunted screams. She saw how she looked at her and how she smiled. Hermione knew she was going to die. She knew. How that woman held her wand, how that woman taunted her and how she said 'crucio'.

Magic was the one thing that had brought Hermione hope and happiness. Magic was also that one thing that had tormented her. Magic was that one thing that tore away precious ones from Hermione.

Hermione heard Bellatrix saying the words softly, as if she was merely whispering lovely lullabies. Bellatrix flicked her wand with ease. In mere seconds Hermione felt it again, as if fire was burning through her body and the flames just won't go out. And the flames go deeper and deeper. Burning everything as a forest fire, not being controlled. The flames go inside and it burned and burned till everything turned to ash. Till every being in her body screamed and nobody would recognize her. Nobody.

Every fiber felt like tearing and leaking pain everywhere. The only thing she could think about was the pain. It was overwhelming. It bore through her very soul and Hermione wanted to scream. She wanted to scream and plead and beg Bellatrix. She wanted to plead Merlin to save her. She was close to losing her mind.

The water was cold. Her body was still. Her eyes were open and dark. And slowly tears were dripping out of her eyes. A dam in side Hermione broke. And she cried.

Because the war was over, but there was another war raging inside of her.

**_Fin._**


End file.
